Smoke and Mirrors
by Saya Moonshadow
Summary: She isn't very good at pretending she's OK. As it turns out, neither is he. BiLi, minor NaLu and onesided LiNa.
1. Chapter 1

**So a very common plot for fanfiction in this section is the triangle between Lucy, Natsu, and Lisanna, and just as common is for one or both girls to be incredibly jealous. Now, obviously there has been literally no romantic drama between them in the manga thus far, but I guess I got curious enough to try my hand at jealous!Lisanna. There is no bashing, however, never fear...rather, this is more unrequited love, jealousy, angst, and the process of getting over all three.**

**As a warning before we begin, this **_**does**_** get a little dark at certain points. Nothing too bad, however. Also, there are a few lemons scattered about, but since there's been a crackdown on those here recently, I'll be posting those chapters either on my LiveJournal or an AdultFanFiction account and simply cutting the lemons out from here. I'll make sure to note which chapters have "extended editions", so to speak, before each one and to direct you to a link so you can read the full version if you so choose.**

**This is in no way connected with my other BiLi fic, **_**Eyes Like Mine**_**, though some things will be similar because that's just how they are in my headcanon. You'll see what I mean.**

**Please enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own **_**Fairy Tail**_**; it all belongs to Hiro Mashima. I own only this story and its plot.**

**Smoke and Mirrors  
By: Saya Moonshadow**

"I'm going to ask Lucy to marry me."

The words are like a cannon shot across otherwise peaceful waters, and her heart is the innocent sailboat that has been viciously attacked by pirates. Well, why not? Like a pirate, he had plundered her heart until there was nothing left to take, and now he is leaving her in utter ruin while he goes chasing off after some new treasure.

He can't be doing this to her. This can't be happening, please, God, let her just wake up now!

She becomes aware of the fact that he is staring at her, still waiting for some sort of response, and so she hurriedly pastes on a bright smile and _beams_ at him with everything she has. Her hands shake under the table, but she clenches them hard. It only works a little at stopping the tremors.

"Oh, really?" Her voice is bubbly and excited. Maybe _too_ excited, but it's not like he'll notice. He never does. "Natsu, that's wonderful! Have you already bought a ring?"

He nods almost bashfully, and, with a quick glance around to make sure no one else in the guild hall can see or is eavesdropping, he reaches into his vest pocket and drags out a small, leather-covered box. It pops open to reveal a ring that is heartbreakingly beautiful and simplistic - or perhaps it's only so because her heart shatters all over again just looking at it.

Oh, God, if only it were for her.

She is aware that this scene is vaguely like her daydreams - Natsu holding the box with the ring in it out to her, for her to see and touch and admire - but it is _nothing_ like her daydreams at all, because this ring is not for her. There is a sudden, wild urge to act out her dream and take it, however, and she clenches her hands harder to keep from actually doing it.

_This ring is not for her._ She must remember that. It's for Lucy, and Lucy alone.

She forces her smile to grow as Natsu scrambles to put it away before anyone else can see. She must remain calm, must not show how badly it hurts, must remain calm...

"She'll love it, Natsu. She loves _you_," she says, and knows she speaks the truth no matter how much she might wish otherwise. "Now go ask her already!"

Anything to make him leave. Anything, please, God, _anything._ She can't bear it anymore, and she is honestly afraid that if he stays any longer then she is going to cry.

But when he takes her advice, leaping onto the table with a loud screech of, _"LUCY, I NEED TO TALK TO YOU!"_, she has to keep herself from reaching out and begging him to stay.

_I need you. I really fucking love you, so please...please, don't ask her to marry you. Ask me. I've been waiting for so long. I love you so much. I love you. Please._

_Just love me; I don't care if you have to pretend._

* * *

An hour later, Lucy walks into the guild with her usual cheerful air, only to be immediately accosted and nearly steamrollered by an incredibly overexcited Natsu. The guild hall in front of them is in ruins thanks to the fit of energy his earlier desperation had given him, but he pulls Lucy's attention away from it in favor of rambling something about how her hair is the color of gold and he's a dragon so he really freaking likes golden things, and by the way, won't she take this ring and maybe consent to put it on and say _"I do"_ when prompted by an old guy in a robe in a couple months?

Her first response is, "Yeah, sure, whatever you want, now let's go get a mission," and she is in the middle of walking towards the request board when the roundabout question she has just been asked hits her like a ton of bricks (or a runaway dragon, as it were).

She turns around. Gapes down at the ring she has just shoved onto the third finger of her left hand without thinking. Back up at him. Her mouth is wide open, and the guild hall behind her is silent, eagerly waiting to see the outcome. Lucy closes her mouth. Reopens, fails to say anything. Closes again.

Rinse, repeat.

Natsu has a serious expression on his face for once, and when Lucy fails after a full ninety seconds to make any sort of noise whatsoever, he takes to reading her facial cues. "Yes, I mean it. No, I'm not joking. Yes, we'll have to live together, and yes, there are probably babies involved. Which, yes, means sex. So, then, Lucy," and here he grins, for her face has just turned a very interesting shade of red and he has this in the bag, "when do you want to have the wedding?"

Two seconds later finds Lucy Heartphilia, soon to be Dragneel, keeling over in shock, unconscious before she hits the ground. Natsu springs forward and clutches her to his chest, alternately fanning her overheated face and growling at anyone who comes too close.

And come too close they all do, for this is what they've been waiting for ever since Lucy Heartphilia, soon to be Dragneel, first arrived in this town. There has always been a connection between her and Natsu, and to see it finally acknowledged is a dream come true for some, such as one Mirajane Strauss, who is currently in the middle of a giddy squealing fit behind the bar and gripping it so tightly that the wood actually cracks.

Lucy wakes up in a few minutes, and her face goes red all over again when the first thing she sees is Natsu.

"So...what do you say?" he asks, taking her left hand and gripping it tightly. He stares down at her seriously, ignoring the guildmembers that are still surrounding them as only he can. "I really mean it, Lucy - I want you to marry me."

"Because my hair is golden?" she chokes out.

He grins, amused. "No, because I love you, stupid. Jeez, Lucy, you're really weird. Why the hell would anyone want to marry someone else just cuz their hair is golden?"

She sputters that it's his own fault for leading up to it with that very same line, because honestly who uses _hair_ in pick-up lines, anyway? Stupid Dragon Slayers with pink hair, that's who, and he's the only stupid, pink-haired Dragon Slayer she knows, and she is not the weird one, _he_ is. But when she's done ranting, she glances back up at him nervously, cheeks completely aflame. "But, um...yes," she says in a shaky voice, and Natsu releases a breath he probably didn't know he was holding.

He crushes her to himself in a hug, and the resulting party is probably the biggest one ever thrown in the history of the guild.

Within the hour, it's on in full sway. All the alcohol they own is brought out, Mirajane is being overworked filling orders but looks deliriously happy nonetheless, Erza is busy both threatening Natsu's life if he ever lets anything happen to Lucy and congratulating him, Gray has already lost his shirt (it's now in Juvia's possession), and Happy sits on Lucy's head, crowing, "He _loooooooooooves_ you!" at random intervals, much to the blonde's embarrassment.

Cana is already well on her way to being plastered. Gajeel actually lifts a tankard of beer in a toast when Natsu looks at him. Wendy is torn between giggling about weddings and begging to be the flower girl at the ceremony (she is, of course, immediately granted her wish). Levy is already beginning to make a checklist of all the things they'll need. Juvia accidentally starts a war amongst the rest of the girls when she declares that she will be the Maid of Honor to celebrate her rival-in-love officially being off the market. Inspired by this, Elfman roars out a challenge to anyone who wishes to take the position of Best Man from him, which Gray, Loke, and Laxus eagerly accept (Elfman gulps at the last one, but squares his jaw and charges anyway).

Seconds later, light, ice, and lightning are flying all over the place, along with fire when Natsu decides to join the brawl - only to be pulled back by Gildarts, who calmly explains that he can't very well be the Best Man at his own wedding. Natsu sulks but eventually pulls away to go searching for his bride-to-be once more. She's by the bar, currently having her ring admired by all the girls who aren't busy participating in the contest to decide who gets to be the Maid of Honor (he hastily ducks as at least three of Erza's swords fly overhead).

Everyone is all so very happy...with the exception of one person. But that person has already fled the scene in favor of going home, where she can be alone and grieve in peace.

* * *

**x.**

* * *

He's happy enough to hear the news - hey, the couple is obviously in a state of absolute bliss, and there's a party going on. A party is a party is a goddamn party, and that means good food and booze.

Booze is always good. He's never seen an occasion before where it hasn't been utterly welcome for _something_.

He, Fried, and Evergreen wait their turn to offer Natsu and Lucy their congratulations, Evergreen even giving the younger female a short hug. Fried shakes Natsu's hand, and Bixlow himself gives the Fire Dragon Slayer a clap on the back, laughing and elbowing him suggestively. "How long you gonna wait to tap that?" he asks, leering.

Natsu shakes him off, grinning back. "Not too much longer," he says, and Fried rolls his eyes but smiles and drags his two teammates off to allow someone else to see the Fire Dragon.

Bixlow is OK with this. He's more or less friends with Natsu, but they are not that close. Hell, the Raijinshuu have never been close to anyone but each other, and then only by necessity and the fact that Laxus is a very important person to all three of them. Without him, they'd all be dead, or insane, or locked up, or some combination of the three. They owe him their lives, and he has so much more than just their loyalty. He practically owns their souls by now, a fact that makes Bixlow laugh every time he thinks of it.

Imagine, the Master of Souls himself, owing his own to someone else? It's delightfully ironic, and he wastes no time in drinking to it and in response to the toast that Makarov has just called for (the first of roughly eighty-nine throughout the night).

The party proceeds in the usual destructive Fairy Tail way, and they're going to need a lot of replacement furniture by the time it's over. He vaguely remembers breaking at least one table into pieces with a misaimed Baryon Formation in his quest to join the fun and kick the crap out of as many people as possible before he himself is finally brought down by Gray (who apparently is still holding something of a grudge for Fantasia of all those years ago, the little snot). He'll get him back later.

It's not until several hours later that Bixlow notices anything is wrong. That's not to say he notices by himself, as he is currently in a state otherwise known as "shitfaced" and he doesn't think he'll be making it home tonight. Oh well, the table he's currently half laying on is comfortable enough and, more importantly, miraculously in one piece. He'll sleep here tonight. Plus, if he's here come next morning, he'll be right where the hangover remedy is. Fucking perfect.

Someone starts shaking his shoulder, and he swats at them badtemperedly. Can't they see that he just wants to sleep? Shit, everyone else is laid low by the amount of food and alcohol they've consumed, but of course the apparent one sober person left just _had_ to come and find _him_, didn't they?

"The fuck ya want?" he asks, still swiping at them to get them to leave him alone. His babies don't even bother repeating his words; they're under the table and dead to the world, the souls inside them completely spent. _That_ is how sloshed and tired he is, and if this person knows what's best for them, then he or she will _go the fuck away._

"Have you seen Lisanna?" It's Mirajane, and he perks up immediately, if for nothing than for the fact that she's kind of hot and he is not afraid to admit that he, like pretty much everyone else with a dick (and some without), is at least mildly attracted to her.

Not that he has a snowball's chance in hell of ever getting with her, but again, he's OK with that. He's capable of keeping it in his pants and out of everyone else's line of sight, as well as knowing the difference between "wishful thinking" and "reality". And it's not like he'd ever try it, anyway, not with Fried ever-so-subtly-but-actually-pretty-obviously pining away after her. That would be going against the Bro Code or whatever the hell it's called; he's too drunk and tired to remember. Or care.

She's also apparently got Laxus after her too, and that's one love triangle he has no desire to get involved in. Let them figure out that shit on their own.

"No," he replies in answer to her question. "The hell would _I_ know where she is?"

Mirajane sighs and releases his shoulder, allowing him to rest on the table again. He watches through hazy eyes as she trails a slim hand down the sleeping Fried's shoulder; the green-haired man snorts and promptly falls sideways off his chair but doesn't wake up.

"No one's seen her. She must have already left, then. I haven't seen her all night, not since before the party." The white-haired woman bites her lip. "But that's odd, because she _loves_ parties! Why would she skip out on this one?"

Bixlow gives her an incredulous look. Does she seriously not know? It should be fucking obvious, but apparently it's not. Or maybe Mirajane is under the impression that her little sister got over the hothead, in which case she is more naive than he had initially thought. Anyone with eyes could very easily tell that the youngest Strauss sibling is still head-over-heels for that fire-breathing lunatic. Going away for two years hasn't changed that, not one little bit. If anything, it just made it worse.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that bullshit. On one end, at least.

Ah well. It's none of his business either way, and if she really can't tell then that's her own problem. He's not about to get involved in some girly drama shit where some lovestruck teenager can't get over a childhood crush. There's enough drama in his life already, what with Evergreen fervently denying her feelings for Elfman and both of them being stupid about everything in general. Seriously, things would be so much simpler if they would just shut up and make out already. He's got better things to do than listen to them squabble...like crawl the rest of the way onto the table and kick the other inhabitant - Cana - off so he can have it all to himself.

Mirajane sighs again and catches his foot before it can connect with Cana's hip, dragging the younger mage off the table and laying her out a few feet away from the still-unconscious Fried. She then picks Bixlow's babies up off the floor and arranges them in a totem pole next to their master, who is busy arranging himself on the table so he doesn't roll off it later. He gives her a grateful nod, but then sleep overtakes him and he isn't aware of anything else for the next several hours.

Just how he likes it. He hates the nights when he isn't either utterly fucking exhausted or drunk, because those are the nights when he knows he will either not sleep or the few hours he gets will be haunted by things he should have forgotten a long time ago.

Sleep has never come easy to him, and he doubts it ever will.

* * *

**AN: OK! So this will have some spoilers for the Grand Magic Games arc, but for the most part will leave it alone. For simplicity's sake, let's just say it's in the canon up to chapter 287, yeah?**

**This isn't my usual fare, so I hope I managed to write it decently. It started out as a long oneshot, but once it hit seventeen pages without actually getting to the main plot, I was forced to concede that perhaps it'd be better as a chaptered story. Oh well.**

**Thanks for reading!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello, my dearest readers! I must say, I'm surprised at the amount of reviews this one got – I wasn't expecting much when I first wrote it XD Even still, a big hearty THANK YOU to everyone who did! You all make my day!**

**Also, my sincerest apologies for the long wait! Lisanna's part in this one was giving me more trouble than I'd like to admit. But it's here now, so please enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own **_**Fairy Tail**_**; it all belongs to Hiro Mashima. I own only this story and its plot.**

**Smoke and Mirrors  
By: Saya Moonshadow**

The process of waking up is absolute shit, just like he knew it would be.

"Ahh, fuck! Fuck, fuck, _fuck_, FUCK!" Bixlow swears, curling up in a ball on his table. It is entirely too bright in here, and he vaguely wonders why the hell he fell asleep on top of a table when there's plenty of floorspace available, but he puts those thoughts away for later in favor of being miserably hungover.

His head feels like it's about to split in half, and the visor he's still wearing feels hot and uncomfortable, plastered to his face by sweat. Not that he's about to take it off, though. In this state, he wouldn't be responsible for his powers randomly activating, and he's not in the mood for accidentally stealing someone's soul. Putting them back to normal is a huge pain in the ass and takes up more energy than he's interested in expending.

Looking around is worse because of all the _souls_ - usually he can turn it down to a manageable level so that they're not all catching his gaze at once, but right now it's like looking at a field of nothing but souls. Glowing little orbs inside people's chests, all indicative of the kind of being that they are. Fuck. Too bright.

He groans and puts his head back down, stretching out so that his feet hang off the table's edge. One arm is thrown over his face to muffle the curses still coming out of his mouth.

"Son of a bitch, that's too fucking bright, turn it the fuck down-"

"Are you...talking to me?"

The voice is unexpected, and it's one he recognizes. Very carefully, he takes his arm off his face and opens one eye to meet the bemused gaze of Mirajane Strauss, staring at him and very obviously trying not to smile. Her soul belies her outward persona - colored dark, but still somehow giving off a shine that only just recently came about. He remembers looking at it before her sister's "death" and afterwards - how dark it was and how little it shone in comparison to the others around it. It's still a dark-colored one now, perhaps having to do with her particular brand of magic, but the shine it gives off is both strong and comforting.

"No," he says thickly. "Talkin' to myself, not you."

"Oh."

Not that that's much better, he reminds himself almost bitterly. Great. Now she and anyone else who happens to be awake and coherent enough to listen probably thinks he's an idiot. Or crazy.

Then again, he spends a lot of time cackling to himself in public anyway, so there's a good chance that they all already think that.

He's absolutely horrible at comforting himself.

Mirajane laughs then, the sound soft but still entirely too loud to him. "I see. Well, anyway, can I interest you in a hangover remedy?" She correctly interprets his loud groan as a yes and stifles a giggle. "Right, then. I'll have one sent right over!"

Bixlow waves her off, not yet willing to sit up. Not until he's had at least a sip of that hangover remedy, because he knows from experience that getting up while hungover is a very good way to make the contents of one's stomach fly right up and out of the mouth. He grimaces before the mental images make him nearly puke anyway, even without the sitting up part.

Damn imagination. It comes in really handy during fights and when he feels like putting on a show in the guild, but sometimes it's a goddamn curse.

OK. OK, now that he's more or less got some control over his stomach and knows he isn't about to start spewing chunks, he sits up to survey the guild.

"Holy _shit_."

Actually, that's an understatement. Bixlow is used to wanton destruction - more than used to it, actually. It comes with the territory of being a Fairy Tail wizard, even though when he first arrived as a teenager, he had been confused and just slightly scared of it. Where he came from, someone raising a hand to you meant you were about to get very hurt. He'd gotten used to it as just being a part of Fairy Tail after a short while, and soon enough he was even joining in on the daily brawls. But this...holy crap, _this_ is on a whole new level.

Literally nothing is left unbroken after last night, not even the floor. The long table he's sitting on, the one he'd thought was in one piece, is actually only _half_ a table, he now sees - it's been split cleanly in two, probably by a blade of some sort, and the other half appears to be embedded in the ceiling directly above him. He sees Gajeel lying a few feet away and is fairly sure he knows who did it - yup, the Iron Dragon Slayer's left arm is still a blade.

Goddamn. And he's spent all night curled up on that thing; no wonder his back hurts so much...

All around him lie signs of the brawl from last night, and he's fairly sure it must have been truly epic. Not that anyone will remember what happened - those few who hadn't been drinking themselves into a blackout probably had the memory beaten out of them at some point.

He reiterates.

"Holy _shit_."

Well, there was one thing you could say about Natsu Dragneel - the guy knew how to liven up a party. Currently Natsu is on the floor and appears to be attempting to become one with Lucy, if the death grip he has on her unconscious form is any indication - he's curled tightly around her, face buried directly in her chest, and Bixlow laughs just _imagining_ the blonde's expression when she wakes up to see where her fiancé's head has landed.

He's heard the rumors - they often sleep in the same bed, though apparently nothing actually _interesting_ goes on. Hopefully now that they've gotten everything straightened out something will happen, because otherwise he's seriously going to be embarrassed for Natsu.

Then again, he himself has shared a bed (technically a tent and a blanket) with Evergreen during a mission in the northern region of Fiore, and nothing happened there. Fried had been on watch duty that night, and it was cold, so they had huddled together to keep from freezing. The next morning, Evergreen had been nice enough to let him know that he made a lot of noise in his sleep and would he please be so kind as to find a shrink and get his shit figured out so the next person who slept near him didn't have to suffer like she did?

Which in Evergreen-speak meant, _"Do you want to talk about it?"_

He'd laughed and told her that she snored like a hog so they were even. She had smacked him with her fan for that one, but after that never brought his nightly troubles up again, and he is more grateful for that than she'll ever know. If anyone in the guild finds out he has night terrors, he'll probably be laughed out. Men don't have night terrors; those are for scared little children who don't have a shred of courage in them.

He's also grateful for her concern, but it's not like he needs her help. He's used to dealing with it, and he doubts bitching at his teammates about it is going to help at all. Neither Fried nor Evergreen really know the extent of his problem, though thanks to that little slip-up he's fairly sure Evergreen has a feeling that it's worse than he lets on. But being Evergreen, she won't say anything unless he brings it up first. Which he won't.

Either way, it's never quite as bad when he falls asleep around someone else. It's when he's alone that it escalates into something horrible.

This train of thought is really beginning to piss him off, and he scowls, scratching idly at his cheek. Where the hell is that damn hangover remedy, anyway? His head is _killing_ him.

"Here, drink this."

The voice isn't the one he's expecting, and when he whips his head around, wincing as the ache worsens, it's not Mirajane that he sees. Instead, it's Lisanna, though his attention is more focused on the large cup she's holding out to him. Briefly, Bixlow notices that her face is drawn and pale, and he's fairly sure he can see tear tracks on her cheeks, but she's smiling at him in a way that's eerily reminiscent of her older sister when she's plotting something. No doubt she's enjoying watching him suffer, the closet sadist.

He groans out a _"holy fuck, THANK YOU."_ and grabs the cup, gulping it down as quick as he can because it tastes like shit and he wants to get this over with already. After he's done, he hands the cup back to her and pulls a face, letting his tongue dangle out of his mouth and making mock swiping motions at it.

"Fuck, that's gross," he sighs, and Lisanna laughs a little. He's kind of surprised, because he realizes that he's actually never heard her laugh before. Huh. If that's not a sign of how un-close they are, he doesn't know what is. He's seen her smile plenty of times, of course, but a laugh is something new. Even if it sounds half-forced like right now.

Part of him wants to make her laugh for real, if only because he hates it when people try to lie to him, even indirectly. It doesn't help that his Figure Eyes are showing him just how much turmoil her soul is in; almost seeming to writhe in pain. It's not a sight he enjoys.

He's never liked troubled souls because he gets the urge to _do_ something about them, especially the ones that are dead and simply refuse to move on to the next life, or wherever the hell it is that souls go after the link to the body is severed. Bixlow doesn't know and he's never had the inclination to ask. The urge to help, however, sucks because there is so very rarely anything that he can do. He doesn't know how to force a soul to move on; all he's good for is taking them and controlling them (and occasionally putting them back into their original vessels), and he has a pretty good idea of just what Mirajane and Elfman might do to him if he so much as _thinks_ about taking Lisanna's soul.

Even if it's the name of "helping" her.

Make that "_especially_", actually.

Perhaps she realizes that he knows something is up, because she averts her gaze with slightly red cheeks and an annoyed expression. "My eyes are up here," she says, her voice taking on that low timbre that Erza's gets when she's pissed.

And then he realizes that he has more or less been utterly focused on her chest this whole time, and hasn't exactly been subtle about it. His face is even angled towards it and everything. Usually he's not that much of an amateur; he's learned the art of taking advantage of having his eyes almost always hidden, and that includes stealthy observation. Which he has just failed at. Epically.

"Uh," he says eloquently. "I actually wasn't, um, looking at your boobs. I swear."

She doesn't look convinced. He's surprised she hasn't busted out the Tigress and gone batshit on his ass yet.

He has to come up with a reason, quick!

"Your, uh, your soul," he says, and nearly smacks himself.

"_Rule number one," Laxus said, stopping him from entering the guild for the first time. "Keep your magic to yourself. We're a lot more accepting here than they are THERE, but your particular brand isn't very well-received even in a place like Magnolia."_

_Bixlow deflated from his previous good mood quite a bit. So even here he'd be...?_

"_It's just because they're stupid assholes who're scared of anything they don't understand," Laxus continued. "You're strong regardless of how 'freaky' or whatever your magic is, and that's all I care about. Eventually these idiots will get used to it, but for your own sake, I'd suggest keeping it on the DL."_

Lisanna is looking at him questioningly, causing him to mentally curse. Shit! That wasn't supposed to come out. It isn't like it's a secret that he can see spirits and the like (Evergreen had made sure of _that_ by shrieking it in a voice loud enough for the entire guild to hear, and after he'd made her promise not to tell, no less), but he knows from experience that people tend not to like it when he looks at their souls. Privacy and all that shit. Some of them flip right the fuck out. Laxus' advice was right on the money.

Now he just has to figure out a way to keep her from utterly freaking out.

"Your soul's not doin' well," he mutters, soft enough that he'll be surprised if she actually heard it. He looks up at her, making sure she knows he's staring her in the eye this time. "I can't concentrate enough right now to turn it off, sorry. Hangovers do that."

Lisanna relaxes considerably, much to his relief. In truth, it hadn't even registered in his own head just _where_ he had been looking, which is almost a first. He's a healthy man, and he likes boobs. That he would be so wrapped up in his own thoughts that he wouldn't realize he was actually _staring_ at a pair of them is just _weird_.

And at least she isn't screaming and flipping out because he's able to see her soul. She just looks sort of uncomfortable, which is normal.

"Oh," she says. The air between them is very, very awkward, when she suddenly smiles in an obvious attempt to lighten it. "Well, that's alright, I guess. If that weren't the case, I'd have to hurt you."

He snorts. Even miserably hungover, he's fairly sure he can take her on and win.

She's about to say more - he can see her opening her mouth, and he's seriously hoping she's not about to ask what he meant when he said her soul wasn't doing well, but he's miraculously saved when Fried chooses that moment to wake up and start bitching about the killer headache he's got. Lisanna's attention immediately goes to the Jutsu-Shiki wizard, and before Bixlow can so much as blink, she's scurrying back to Mirajane to grab another couple hangover remedies.

"Ugh...was I hit by a car?" Fried asks blearily, blinking up at him through squinted eyes.

"No," Bixlow informs him, "but you _did_ outdrink roughly two thirds of the guild."

"Oh," Fried says, closing his eyes with a sigh. "That'll do it, then, I suppose." He winces. "All told, I think I'd rather be hit by the car. Remind me never to drink that much ever again."

"And miss out on the blackmail?" Bixlow asks, grinning wickedly when Fried practically shoots to his feet and is forced to grab onto the table as his knees buckle; the Seith user laughs uproariously.

"What the hell do you have?" the green-haired man snaps at him, making his grin widen.

"Huh, that's for me to know and you to find out when I need something."

"Both of you shut the hell up!" Evergreen's voice barks, crawling towards them with her clothes, hair, and glasses in complete disarray.

* * *

**x.**

* * *

OK.

OK, now, that was just _weird_. And somewhat freaky, though she thanks whatever gods may be up there that she managed to keep a hold of herself during...whatever the hell that all just now was.

She'd honestly been about to start raging when she'd realized that his gaze was rather unashamedly focused on her chest, though luckily for him, he apparently had an excuse. He'd seemed too earnest and embarrassed to have been lying, but all the same, she's going to watch out for him from now on.

She's heard the rumors and has seen his pervy side in action; though he's nowhere near as bad as Loke, for example, he can still get kind of bad. And she knows she's definitely not OK with Fairy Tail's resident one-man circus perving on her.

Thank God that hadn't been the case. She doesn't know what she might have done if it had, but the result wouldn't have been pretty.

"Mira-nee, Fried's awake!" she says as she reaches the bar where her sister is busy preparing more of that hangover remedy. Behind her, more members of the guild are beginning to awaken and are groaning while doing it, and she amends her previous statement. "Actually, a bunch of them are waking up, so we need more of that remedy!"

Mirajane looks over at the remains of the guild building and actually winces. She doesn't like seeing people in pain, though even she has to admit that they brought it on themselves, Lisanna knows. It's not like anyone was _forcing_ them to drink that much. It was just the Rules of the Party that kept them going past the limits, and no one dares to go against the Rules of the Party.

She busies herself with darting around and bringing the remedy to those who are awake, leaving covered cups for those who aren't, and checking on those who have been awake longest, all the while fervently avoiding the Fire Dragon Slayer who is busy loudly protesting having to drink the foul-tasting concoction being forced down his throat by his fiancée. It's still much too early to think about that, and so she doesn't - avoiding it seems like the best option, and the one that will keep her sanest in the long run.

It doesn't help that they are ridiculously loud, though. She can hear everything, and every harsh yet affectionate word is enough to break her heart all over again.

In between shutting her eyes and wondering why people didn't have earlids as well as eyelids for shutting out bad sounds, she nearly trips over Erza, who grabs her foot and hoarsely demands a cup of the remedy. Dashing back to Mirajane to fill the Titania's orders, she chances a glance back in Bixlow and Fried's direction. The Jutsu-Shiki user has managed to stand up, though almost immediately falls over again, apparently still mostly unable to find his own feet. Bixlow gives a bark of laughter that turns into a grimace of pain before long, and Evergreen snarls for both of them to shut the hell up.

The sight makes Lisanna smile. While definitely claiming the title of Fairy Tail's weirdest team, they also have the distinction of being one of the tightest-knit, and some small part of her glows to know that even three social outcasts like them have managed to find a little niche for themselves here. Fairy Tail was indeed a marvel in and of itself.

Even still, her line of sight keeps getting dragged back to Natsu and Lucy. She doesn't want to see it, but it seems she's so programmed to automatically search out that head of pink hair that she just can't help herself.

The sight of them hurts so much. That should have been her - by all rights, it should have been _her_ chiding him to drink the remedy while rather unabashedly admiring the ring in between sentences, and blushing while doing so. It should have been _her_ who he refuses to let go of, instead insisting that the smell of her is helping the hangover more than Mirajane's remedy, and it should have been _her_ who eventually gives in and allows him to hold her just so long as he stops whining already.

Instead, it is Lucy, and she knows that she must force herself to get used to the sight because it is here to stay and it will never change.

She tries not to hate Lucy, but it's so very hard not to right now. In just a few short months, Lucy has managed to steal everything that Lisanna has worked towards for years on end - managed to steal the heart that Lisanna has wanted since she was a child, and seemingly with no effort whatsoever. According to several other guildmates, all Lucy had done was buy him lunch and he had responded by dragging her back to Fairy Tail with him and never leaving her alone after that.

Exactly how is that fair? What about that is in any way fair?!

It takes a moment to realize that she is acting like a scorned girlfriend in one of those movies that Mirajane likes to watch every now and again, and she chides herself sharply. Lucy is not a bad person. She, like Lisanna, cannot help the fact that she fell in love with Natsu, and she certainly can't help the fact that he fell in love with her as well.

She must get used to the sight of them together. She's going to go crazy otherwise, but she feels like she'll go crazy anyway if she watches them for another second.

As soon as the hangover remedy is distributed to everyone who's now conscious, she heads over to the request board to look for a mission. Preferably one that will take her away for a long time, and will be so difficult that she won't afford to be able to think about anything but the task at hand.

Perhaps, when she returns, she'll be able to face the inevitable.

A short yell to her sister that she's leaving and will be back in two weeks, and Lisanna is gone. Very few realize this, being too busy nursing their own aches and pains to take notice. Truth be told, she prefers it that way.

* * *

**AN: The next chapter will be more focused on Lisanna, since this one had a bigger chunk dedicated to Bixlow. Balance, hell yeah!**

**I'm terribly sorry if it sounds like I was making Lisanna too bitchy up there as well. I'm doing my level best to portray her feelings as accurately as possible but WITHOUT turning her into a horrible, jealous bitch (which is a sadly popular portrayal of her around here...), but it's a little hard. She IS jealous of Lucy, and I think she deserves a bit of inner ranting. After all, she's loved Natsu since she was, what, eleven? That's at least six years of caring for him, and seeing him go for someone else has to cut pretty deep. But she is sensible enough to realize when she's being mean, because Lisanna is a sweet, sensible girl, dammit.**

**Also, if you are a reader of my other Bixlow/Lisanna fic, **_**Eyes Like Mine**_**, please check out the poll on my profile! Every bit of feedback counts!**

**Thank you for your time, and please tell me what you think!**


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